Aloha To Me
by TheFerengiKing
Summary: Guess who's back, It's your favorite American, Frank, with his lovely Gardevoir wife, Midori, his fine feathered friend, Bender, along with Heleva, the kids, and Frank's son, Edward, who apparently is like his father. See how I screw up the Aloha islands, just like I screwed up in Kalos with violence and gun shooting. Rate and review. (NOW WITH LEMONS)
1. What has happened

**Alright, this is an updated story. It originally had no lemons, but then I decided "you know, fuck it". This story contaisn two lemons, it will be marked.**

 **Enjoy!**

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CHAPTER ONE: WHAT HAPPENED SINCE

I'm back again, the good ol' crazy, gun shootin', gutter mouthin' American with his Gardevoir wife and fine Blaziken friend. I'll start back about four years ago when it happened; I was thrown into the Pokémon world, met Midori as a Ralts, met Bender as a Blaziken, and also met Heleva when she was a Zorua.

After the attack of the Greninja attack, I started to collect other Pokémon that I could use for some fighting, and I did. It worked pretty well, until Bedner and Heleva had the second kid, then I decided to throw the whole damn family into one ball and removed Midori's ownership. This kind of helped for a short few weeks, until of course I added on Edward.

Now Edward was a pain in the ass when he came out after the first three weeks. He was slightly annoying me when trying to do something, asked too many fucking questions about why I ain't a Pokémon, and even pulled the big question out, 'why did me and his mother do it?'

Thank God he stopped doing that after he evolved into a Kirlia, now he fights way better and I don't need to listen to the constant yapping. Then Midori had our daughter, Rose, last year, and she was better, well somewhat. She is still a Ralts but, she is one very fucked up Ralts, in the head at least.

Now I didn't stop with Edward because he decided to become a Gallade and I agreed with it. Now of course I'm not going to be hard working and pay for the evolving stone so, I traveled a couple of regions over, and located one of Ash's friends, Max. He had a Gallade and he had that evolve stone, so I robbed his ass and flew all the way back and gave to Edward as a birthday present. See, I'm not that mean?

However, when Edward evolved, I think my genetics kicked in as his hair and arms were Dark green, like a piece of molding clay. He also grew a mustache similar to mine which only had, if correctly counted, around 80-90 hairs there, but people would think he is a genetic defect. I would look at them and say, "If he's a genetic defect, you're a retard", and people walk off usually pissed.

Some of my old habits of shooting Teams and robbing have been "willingly" lowered as Midori didn't like how I kept on stealing things from nearby stores. Edward somewhat agrees, but I found him stealing off someone's custom luxury Pokéball and a mega evolve stone for his species. I laughed and told him, "Apparently stealing is in the blood now."

Midori wasn't happy, but we arranged to see even if it worked with him. So after a test run, I concluded that he looked total badass. The cape he had, along with the bold Italian mustache, and the sharp as fuck arm blades made him look like a badass criminal. Now With Midori, I gave her the pair of the mega evolve gems, I stole the first time around, as an anniversary gift. I had it put into a necklace type which made her definitely better than before and she adored it and it definitely became something as we tested it out. Her gown grew longer and into strips, like a Kirlia, the crystal split in two and one interesting feature that I didn't know she had was that the crystal somehow went orange. She later explained to me that her father was a shiny orange, which made some sense, but I didn't give a shit, not did I?

Bender was still the same, we cursed at each other, pulled crappy pranks, had our wives pull us apart or throw something at us to get our attention. I gave the guy a pair of those mega evolve gems a present explaining to him that I'm not going to be the shitty trainer he got replaced by a weaker thing. Now I looked like one of those guys with three different watches on his right arm, but at least I can kick people's asses.

Speaking of that, I won the Kalos championship two years in a row after creating a new move for Heleva and Midori, cloak. I explained to both of them that it was a Star Trek idea and that it would work if they put their energy to it. It took 8 months but, it paid off.

Right now after those four years, I became a gym owner of the "Little Italy Gym", where the badges are Ferengi Symbols. Along with the gym, I decided to let some of my Pokémon go, mainly because they actually failed my expectations, not that it thought they sucked, I mean, would you keep a Blastoise that lost to a fucking fire ape?

The family I have right now consists of me, Midori, Edward, and Rose; Bender and Heleva have their Zorua son, Arenmo, and their Combusken daughter, Pella. One more thing before I go, is that after those four long, rich, usual as crap years, I decided to set up a vacation plan for everyone to go, but where? I decided to set it up in the newer region, the Aloha Region.


	2. A vacation

CHAPTER TWO: A VACATION

I sat down in my chair relaxing to the outside air, I worked and stole too hard to get this far, so I decided to set up a vacation to the Hawaii region as I called it. I thought to myself, _'No problems, no more assholes to fight with, no more taxes, and no more dealing with useless trainee idiots_.'

As hilarious as it sounds, half the time I would usually appeared at the fights, Midori now speaks English without a Pokémon translator, so it saves me an arm, leg, and bag to get one. She would commence fights; have the team there one the side lines waiting for who goes next. Now, the really funny part is when I come m into the picture, which happened right about… now.

Midori walks in and asks, "Frank, an opponent wants you to fight her in person."

I get out of my chair and reply, "Is she being a stubborn bitch?"

"She threatened to sue."

I sighed and walked out of the room into the field as the fucking girl screamed, "You're the gym leader, you're supposed to be here during the fight, not your Pokémon!"

I said calmly, "Do you want a fight or just scream shit at me?"

She obviously was ticked off and yelled, "I challenge your name and ass to a fight one on one."

I started the smartass routine, "I been through this before, Midori is not an ass, an ass is a four legged animal that is used for transportation, why can't people get that?"

Midori walked to the referee area and called out, "Begin!"

The girl went, "Mamoswine, I choose you!"

And out came some kind of wooly mammoth, so I pulled in Bender and the fight began, "Mamswine, use snowstorm!"

A snow cloud fired at Bender, I waved it, "Use Quantum torpedo and blow it out."

Bender shot a huge projectile at the mammoth and it went so fast it cut through the storm and hit the opponent so hard it knocked it clean out. And I said, "You said one on one, now get the fuck out", as I made a hitchhiker's thumb at the exit. The woman looked pissed and I didn't give a damn how or why.

I looked around and walked back to my room, only followed by Midori nonchalantly asking, "What exactly are you doing?"

I said, "The reason why I have been the way I am for a while, is because it was cove up", changing to a smile.

She frowned, "You stole again?"

My grin grew a little wider, "Better than that."

She thought and said, "Alright what?"

"I decided that these two years have been the same shit, so to spice it up, I decided to do something I think is a great idea for everyone."

"Like what?"

"I'm taking everyone on a one week vacation over to the Aloha Islands!"

Midori was both surprised and happy at the same time, then her smile shrank a little and asked, "How are we getting there?"

"I thought we could use a Charizard to fly over everyone and ask a legendry for help."

She played along and asked, "Really?"

I said, "Of course not, we going on a plane, if the people don't mind Edward."

"They won't mind, but I don't think he will."

I made an "ahh" movement with my hands saying 'to hell with them' and I told everyone as well. Now I arranged the tickets where Bender, Heleva, me, Midori, Edward, and Rose, get seats. I was lucky enough to pay for the coach as they allowed Pokémon there. Bender later persuaded me to get Arenmo and Pella onto two seats as well. One issue I had to cope with was how to get through airport security, ehh, I find a way.

The next day at the airport, we walked in to the grand place, I checked around to find the baggage handling area. The employee at the checkout took the bags and the conveyer belt took them. I we headed over to the security check point. Now I suggested that all my Pokémon walked through before me. It was done, Midori walked through, no problems, Heleva walked through no problems, Bender walked through, it beeped. The man patted him down and found a gun under Bender's feathers in a sling. The guard looked at me and I said, "So that's where the hell my Glock went."

Edward went through and the machine beeped as well. The guard found him carrying two knifes, and I said, "Those are his arms, or those are my kitchen knives."

The guard looked at me sternly and I went through and it beeped as well. I said, "Hang on, I got some metal."

I pulled out my .44, hunting rifle, two hand grenades, a kitchen knife, two sharp blades, a bottle of wine, a small metal circle blade, a pocket knife, my watch, and my laptop. The guards looked at all the shit I pulled out and shit themselves. They asked, "Sir, do you a license to carry everything here?"

I pulled out all my licenses and they were amazed by it, but I "lost" my guns, knives, blades, and grenades. However, I got Edward to teleport the stuff back into my backpack and he got his knives and "Bender's" gun back as well. Midori looked at me crookedly and asked, "You carry grenades?"

I said, "Suppose that there is a crazy robot on the plane."

Bender said, "The only thing that's going to be crazy on that plane is you."

I tried defending myself, "its self-defense."

Edward then said, "Yeah dad, and threating the store clerk with a laptop was bribery."

"I was pissed at that deal as he jacked up the price."

After a shit load of problems at the airport, we got into the actual area and waited around an hour, and finally the plane came and unloaded. I released Rose, Arenmo, and Pella from there balls and we all went to the counter at the entrance where the woman there said, "Excuse me sir, but you need to put away your Pokémon."

I told her, "Sorry, I paid for their seats, I'm not waiting around", and walked off smiling. We got in the plane and we moved to the cramped area of coach. Even though three seats was pretty empty, I made sure that no one would knock off the little kids, so Bender would stay with his kids behind us on the left side while Heleva stayed with Rose on the right side of us, with some other prick sitting in the front of the seats.

The attendants gave out the safety lecture, plane began to move, and we went flew up with me still gripping the seating as I didn't know where the plane would collide with something or not. After an hour the attendant took our orders for lunch, who was shocked to see Midori, Edward, Heleva, and Bender, ish, actually talking English, and having Rose telepathically tell the attendant what the kids wanted.

We adults went ordering some fine drinks of alcohol, I got a fine wine, Bender went straight for the high alcohol, and Heleva passed. Edward "passed" and got himself something alcoholic using his teleportation. All I can say is that shit he is better at stealing than me, oh well. Midori didn't look impressed and started scolding Edward telepathically, only for me to see the too moving their faces while arguing in their heads.

Lunch came, we ate, and the kids decided to switch my food with theirs, unfortunately the joke's on them as I asked my food with some heavy jalapeño-like spices on mine. Midori then told me, "Frank, please don't go robbing every store in the Aloha region."

I replied, "Don't worry Midori, the only problem is him", pointing at Edward, "and besides, I read up on the islands, and they got some interesting items such as these Z-crystals which must be worth a fine fortune."

Edward got the same look on his face and we both smiled at each other, only Midori to two forks to our hands, make us both shaking our hands sin pain saying, "Shit/Fuck."

We looked at her, only she put on the innocent expression. Now, she doesn't hate me and I still love her and she knows it, but she thinks I just go too far into some things setting bad examples. I just smiled and shook my head; Edward automatically healed his injury and planned out a scheme.

Once we landed, we all got out of the plane and breathed in that, really bad smelling sea air. I said to myself, "I wonder if they sell gas masks here."

We carried our baggage to the hotel room I chose as I bought two separate ones for two families, duh. I unpacked all our shit and sat on the bed in me and Midori's bedroom exhaling, "Ahh, finally, some relaxment."

Midori hopped on me and said, "hm, until of course something does happen", in that "voice" which signals something. I then said, "Maybe when Rose is asleep or when we get back."

She laughed at that and said, "Well, maybe when she's a Kirlia you can explain it to her."

"What if I forget?"

She then said, "I can show her using my head."

I looked at her and said, "There is a difference in explaining and showing a past experience."

"I'm just screwing around with you. We'll explain it to her when she asks the question, like Edward."

I exclaimed, "He asked that question when he was only a year old!"

Midori remembered, "Oh, right."

"I'm not against it, besides she could get it out of one of our heads, now let's not waste time about explaining to our little child about sex and enjoy the vacation by doing something."

Midori got up and said, "Ok, how about teaching Edward not to steal the first thing he sees?"

"If he can pass two knives past me, he can get away with just about anything."

I walked out of the bedroom went to see how the others were doing, until I see Edward walking down the street with a three frozen ice cream bars behind is back, and eating one. And I hear in the distance a guy yelling someone stole a couple of bars. I shook my head thinking, ' _I think he got half his brain in the thieving department_.'


	3. These people again?

**Lemon Warning. (((((= Lemon**

 **Enjoy!**

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CHAPTER THREE: THESE PEOPLE AGAIN?

After an hour of unpacking, setting up, shit like that, me, Midori, and Bender decided to do something we haven't done in almost two/three years, walk into a forest. Going outside it was basically a Pokemon version of Hawaii, except there were damn rats hiding in some areas that were mainly encased in shadows.

Walking into the jungle-like forest, we remembered some of the times before we did anything major, before there was any children to watch, and before Edward became a Pokémon version of me. Once we were a good few yards in the forest, I looked around and said, "I haven't be on these nature walks in a long while."

Bender replied to that one, "Well, you're usually battling, cursing, and being a smartass to a lot of trainers and having us battle them."

"Yeah, but they have to get MY badge in order to get to the Kalos champion, whatever. So far no one has done that, meaning they all suck and are wasting my time."

Midori then said, "You did want the gym in the first place."

I looked at her and said, "I thought it would be interesting, instead people are using their weasels, dogs, cats, horses, one idiot threw a cow at me. Then they all think they're gonna win, they fail, boo-hoo, and I tell the son of a bitches to get the hell out of my gym. You expect me to put up with that shit?"

Midori chuckled and said, "No wonder you decided to get the vacation."

Bender continued, "You knew we were all sick of putting up with the same shit every day."

I laughed myself, "Yeah, but now I have to deal with 'trainers' complaining about their lost trash. I tell them that it was a Weavile that stole it probably as I don't take things."

Midori looked at me sternly, "You sure on that Frank?"

"Ok, I do, but not with people I just met, I usually take things from the store."

"That's the same thing."

"So the store lost 30K in profit big hooey."

The conversation ended when we heard a rustle in the bush. And I couldn't believe as it was these retarded morons.

"Prepare for trou-"

I gave them the finger and said, "Go to hell."

The woman looked up, "Huh, you again?!"

I mimicked, "Yes, you again, what the hell are you people doing here?"

The Meowth went, "Finding rare Pokémon to capture, what else?"

That Wabaffet went, "Waba Wabaffet."

I pulled out my gun and said, "Ok, let's play game, do I have six bullets or five?"

They looked at each other and tried to take an educated guess, aka they don't know what the fuck they're thinking, and looked around saying, "Five!"

I replied, "Let's see", and fired on them again blowing two holes in the woman's arms, one each, a shot in the man's leg, one that grazed the Meowth's testicle sack, and the other one that went into the blue turd's saluting arm.

I then gestured in a polite manner, "Midori?"

She nodded and fired a, what I named, Photon grade A torpedo and blew the mother fuckers away for good, hopefully. I checked my gun and said, "Huh, would ya look at that. There were only five. Not bad of guess."

We continued walking off after the incident which ironically brought back good times. We looked through the wildlife to see owl-creatures, weird birds, an oversized bear, charging right AT US!

I looked to see the changing monstrosity go at probably a good 80-90MPH and I only had enough time to say, "LOOK OUT!", and dodge the charge. It turned around and recharged. I told Bender, "Kick it's ass maybe! Wait a minute, let's use this mega evolve shit."

And I enacted the Mega evolve and Bender charged up with one hell of a power boost which was used to literally forward a massive kick into the bear. It got back up and I told Bender, "Quantum torpedo!"

A fire charge, as its actually called, was loaded and fire at the beast, and it fell down in that attack. Afterwards, Bender reverted to the regular Blaziken state and I looked over the creature and said, "I'm not carrying it along."

Bender and Midori agreed with that and we all left the forest, only to encounter a similar group of assholes, who apparently looked more like ISIS terrorists with the black bandanas. They were riding a group of Tauros's. The one up front, assuming the leader of the group, rode close and said, "Yo man, hand over the Pokémon, or you'll have to deal with our team of rappin' trappin' boys."

I looked at the group with a disgusted look and said, "Your rap is so bad that it makes Kayne West look good, and that guy sucks."

The leader obviously looked pissed and said, "You can't tell us how to do our rap, yo. Now you'll have to answer to our Salandits man, ya dig?"

I shook my head and told them, "Next time, try to threatin' someone with Jazz, Polka, or even some western shit, rap is for black people. They do very good at it, you however, you just suck at it", as the group was mainly white.

I told Bender, "How well's your aim?"

He said, "It needs some work, but I can injure someone nicely."

"Well", pointing at the thieves, "there are your target practices, go have a field day."

He smiled and pulled out the glock and shot the crooks, with two bullets in each leg. So to do the math, he used twelve bullets, and he better find a way to pay me. But, I let that slide seeing how there was a good amount of money they had in their wallets and the crap they were wearing.

We walked back to the hotel, And we went to our rooms, only me and Midori went in and found Edward with two Z-rings and I ask him, "How the fuck did you get those?", trying to figure out how he got them.

He held up the rings and said, "Here's how the story went."

(Two hours ago)

Edward was slightly bored having nothing to do besides watching his little sister, and scheming on how to get some Z-crystals. He then said, "Screw it, let's go find someone with one."

As soon as we walked to the door, Rose asked him, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "Oh, 'shopping'."

"But, mommy and daddy said you had to watch me?"

Edward knew he couldn't leave with that note in mind, he thought and said, "Well, since you know teleport, as you pulled it on dad, you can go to your Mrs. Heleva's hotel room if someone breaks in."

Rose happily responded, "Ok!"

Edward crept out the door, walked out of the hotel and looked around for people with a Z-crystal. One of the problems, he hated most, was that people watched him since he was, different, from other Gallades. He got used to it but still wasn't comfortable with it.

He tracked down at least three people who had it, but they were in groups of people, and teleporting them wasn't going to work either. He then looked at a map at a touring bar and found there was a lab on the other side of the island. He started running there and within 20 yards, he noticed there were some kids in the back of the place, probably a school as well as a lab.

He quietly got into the lab, and found two Z-crystals right there on the counter. He grabbed them and put them into his knife sheaths, except a wolf like creature barked at him, "Lycan!"

Edward looked at it and said, "What do you want?"

(IN POKEMON TRANSLATION)

The lycanrock, as Edward found a picture of it, snarled at him, "You're obviously stealing."

Edward snickered, "Well at least I can disappear without a notice."

"Oh really, and how many Gallades have a mustache on them?"

Edward mentally pissed himself as that topic was brought up. He walked up to the wolf and pinned him against the wall, saying in a criminal style voice, "Yeah, but at least it makes me more of a badass when I beat the crap out of you."

The lycanrock begged, "Ok, ok you made your point."

And Edward released his arm sword form the dog and teleported off.

(END OF TRANSLATION)

(Back in reality)

I stood there trying to grasp the last part carefully, while Midori was in shock seeing what her son had done. I then said, "Remind me of the time I stole those mega evolve gems, except I didn't simply run, I shot the fucking Delphox who stood in my way, then I ran."

Midori shook her head, 'Like father like son, unfortunately.'

She then asked, "Where is Rose though?"

Edward said, "Well, once I came back she said she was going to go see Arenmo and Pella. I just sat here trying to see how these things worked."

I laughed, "You need me to wear one and work it, like the evolving stones, except there is only one involved not two."

It was getting late so I drank a glass of wine, and I went to bed, only for Midori to come in five minutes later, highly pissed, judging her face. She calmed down very fast as soon as she got in bed. She then looked at me and we kissed for a bit as then we made out.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

We were under the sheets as Midori then teleported off my clothes as I asked, "You want another one?"

She nodded, "Sure, what can go wrong?"

"Another Edward?"

"*giggle* maybe not."

She pulled off her dress and got a good look at her. We kissed again as I lined myself up to her and asked, "Ready?"

Midori nodded so, let's 'a go. I pushed into her vagina and my dick was in damn good area. She was soft, beautiful, and nobody could out match her. I began to push a tad bit harder and she started to let her moans pass through. Hopefully Rose wouldn't hear this and open the door seeing it.

We kept this up as I knew Midori was enjoying it as much as I was. And finally, I came into her as she let out a pretty loud moan. I said, "You hope… Rose didn't hear that."

Midori just hugged me and said, "She's only a little child, what could she hear?"

"Anything?"

We then just went to sleep and enjoyed out day of vacation.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((


	4. Edward fianlly screws up

CHAPTER FOUR: EDWARD FINALLY SCREWS UP

 _'One the second day of this vacation, my true love gave to me'_ , only I think it's more like I gave my true love, but eh, what the hell. I got out earlier than usual and went to cook up an omelet using three eggs, some spices, wine, and hot sauce, ate it, and my stomach rejected it as soon as I saw that the date was re-stamped to hide the expiration date of the hot sauce, being over five months expired.

Retried and this time Midori came out and happily cheered, "Morning Frank."

I returned, "Morning dear."

"I assume you didn't have a good morning?"

"Well, unless I have the stomach flu, someone made some cheap ass money on me."

I tossed the bottle of hot sauce out the window and heard a glassy smash on the cement down below, since we were about four floors up. Midori asked, "Wouldn't been better to empty it then throw it into the trash?"

I answered back, "Yeah, but that would mean cutting off the top and dumping the sauce out the window onto someone's head and then the person curses out my name, yada, yada, and then all hell would break loose."

Midori face palmed saying, "Dump the liquid in the sink, then throw the bottle into the trash."

"Alright I know I should've done that, but one, I don't live here, and two, this isn't my world, so the rules don't mean craps to me."

"Yes, but you take things too far in an irresponsible way and it starts to spread."

"Because of Edward? I think I know that script very well enough to almost repeat it. First off, it's the way I am, and two, *sigh*, I'm just aggravated."

Midori came close to me and said, "It's the fact your parents won't except that Edward is their grandson?"

I looked at her, "Ha, your right, that is basically it, but, hey, I'm the crazy guy here as no one gives a shit of how I live my life."

Midori then got a tad bit serious, "I do, and I did save your life at one point, don't forget that."

"I'm not going to forget it, and don't you forget that it was also you that threatened to actually kill me as well 'at one point'."

Midori remembered what she said back then, and she said, "You right, but that was because it thought you would shoot up more people."

I retaliated, "I understand but, I only wanted Ash dead, not anyone else, not his friends, his Pokémon, or even his mother, just him."

After about five minutes, Edward came out and looked around seeing only us at the kitchen. He walked over and asked, "What's cooking, literally?"

I pointed, "You can have the omelet there."

He began to eat it, and after a few bites went down, I said, "Because I didn't know the hot sauce was expired by over five months."

His face went slightly paler knowing he was eating partially cooked omelet, since that's how I normally cook it. He spit out the food and chucked it out the window. I then said toward Midori, "Apparently we found the new garbage disposal unit."

Midori wasn't amused, and simply got up and walked over to find Rose coming out of her room. Rose asked, "Why is Edward throwing up out the window?"

I look to see him doing just that, and I tell the guy, "Hey Edward, vomit in the bathroom, not out the window", worrying as soon could see that. He pulled his head back in saying, "You didn't tell me it was expired!"

"Then next time ask maybe?"

Before we could continue, I heard someone screaming, "Who the fuck threw up on the side walk and on me?!"

All of us not looked at Edward and he is standing, mentally wetting himself as he just did something I'm gonna have to fix. We got to the counter of the hotel and the hotel clerk and manager where there as they were complaining about someone throwing up all over the manager.

The manager raged, "When I find that son of a bitch I'll…"

I cleared my throat and said, "Excuse me sir, but Edward here was the one who, had some food poisoning, and vomited on you. He'll be the one who will clean up any mess he may have caused, including your suit", making a slight disgusted look at the guy's clothes.

All the manager said was, "That Gallade was the one who did it? He's your Pokémon and you're the one who is cleaning it up!"

"I understand, but he isn't fully Pokémon however."

"What do you mean?"

Edward then said, "Well…"

The manager then understood and said, "If your friend here can handle a mop, brush, and bucket, he's going to be cleaning every damn stain, or I'm getting the cops on this."

I looked at my son officially for the first time quivering about going to jail and he said, "I-I'll =clean the mess", and the clerk led him to the back and got him some supplies for the cleanup. The manager touched his shoulder and said, "And when you're done, I'd like this suit hand washed."

Edward nodded and went out to clean, and I said to Midori, "He won't be stealing for a while at least."

Midori nodded in agreement while Rose asked, "Why did the man punish Edward?"

I told her, "Because Edward did something really fucking stupid."

"Then he shouldn't have done it."

Midori said, "More like your father should've have given Edward the food in the first place."

I sighed in defeat as Midori won that time, but still, having Edward around is like having Bender around, he'll annoy you until some shit happens.


	5. Edward's new friend, I think?

CHAPTER FIVE:

(Edward's POV)

* * *

After the cleanup, and laundry, of the mess "I" started, I decided to walk out and stay out for a while and do something to take off my mind. Now, nobody really knows how to steal without being caught, as I simply use my teleportation abilities and poof them to me. It works, for a short while.

I walk down the streets and the area is completely filled with damn Rattatas and Raticates. I pushed them aside and sliced a couple without anyone seeing, but otherwise the fucking pests are always in the way. The stores are horrible and they contain nothing but food, clothes, and tourist shit. That lab up on the hill was better, only I have to deal with the damn rock-type.

After walking for about 20 minutes, I stopped at a street corner and to my left, I saw a Greninja standing against the wall, arms crossed. She looked as if she was waiting for something, or someone, so I walked up to her as she still stood there. She shot towards me and said, "What are you looking for you defect?"

One hell of an arrogance that I already can see, so I said back at her, "Nothing, you looked as if you were bored and decided to start a conversation."

"Go to hell, I already have my own problems."

She was like talking to my father, oh Lord. I then said, "How do I know what the hell your problems are, oh wait, I can tell, because I'm a psychic,* you cunt*."

She heard that whisper and charged right at me and stuck a water shuriken up to my throat screaming, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

I really hate it when I think I have the upper hand, and held up my hand going begging, "All I said was that I was a psychic, that's all, that's all!"

She removed the weapon slowly, dissipated it and said, "You better watch your mouth when I'm here since I don't tolerate people's shit."

I snickered, while getting up, "Heh, I'm only half a person…"

She looked at me oddly and said, "You're what?"

I cringed at the mistake I made and repeated, "I'm only half a person."

Her eyes showed she was confused, but I sensed she was also interested. She then asked, "Are you telling me your parents are one of those damn pokephilia couples?"

"Yeah."

She amazed by the response and said, "To be honest, I would like my parents to be like that."

I then told her, "You don't want my parents."

The Greninja rolled her eyes and said, "I meant at least a human parent you dick."

"Eh, what you get is what you're stuck with."

She was pissed at that comment and said, "You got a living father at least, my father was shot and stabbed dead according to what my mother found."

I calmed her down, "Ok, ok, I'll agree with that, but still, you don't want my father as he is pretty damn reckless."

She turned away, still her arms crossed, so I asked, "What's your name?"

She looked at me, then away again, and said, "Siliveisa."

I was befuddled on the name but I'll get used to it. She then asked, "Yours would be?"

I said, "Edward."

She asked, "I assume you're out of Hoenn?"

"No, I'm actually out of Kalos."

She looked at me and said, "I'm the same here."

I then said, "Well, of course you would be, since I never heard of a Greninja born out of Kalos, more or less out of it."

Siliveisa looked at me and said, "I 'moved' here when I was a Frogadier, it was only back in Kalos I was a Froakie."

"And you turned into a Greninja here as well?"

She looked at me and said, "I beat the shit out of 5 different Pokémon and a couple of human assholes in order to become one", while making a fist, making me nervous on that part.

I tried to lighten the mood and ask, "Then why don't you go back to Kalos instead of living in this rat infested dump?"

She now was infuriated, "Let's see if you even paid a bit of fucking attention, shall we? My father is dead, I'm not going back to where everyone's going to ask where I have been, and I'm certainly not going to end up as my…"

I then interrupted and said, "I get, your life was destroyed when this prick killed your father."

That luckily got her cool down and I asked, "What was your father anyway?"

She said, "He was like me, a Greninja."

I wondered on something and asked, "Did your father have a trainer?"

Siliveisa started wondering as well, "Yeah, he did."

"And what the trainers name?"

She thought for a bit and replied, "It think my father's trainer was called Ash maybe."

My eyes budged, remembering my parent's story, and I told her, "I think I know who may have killed your father."

Siliveisa then asked with surprise, "Really? Or is this some bullshit for me to…"

"No I think I know who may have actually done it."

We walked off as she followed me back to the hotel.

(My POV)

* * *

It was peaceful and quiet and no problems all day, just me, Midori, and Rose, and no Edward to fuck it all up. He was gone for a while now being nearly 40 minutes, but I enjoyed the calmness so much that I didn't give a damn how long he was gone.

Midori asked me, "Should we be worried about him, or should we just enjoy the peace?"

I answered her question with a question, "Which would you take?"

She obviously took the second choice. Then I hear I knock at the door and Rose went to see who it was. Then she squealed, "Edward's got a girlfriend!"

I said to myself, "Now the bastard can stay out permanently, all right open it."

And came in Edward with a Greninja who apparently looked around asking him, "Alright so where is this guy you were talking about?"

Edward asked me, "Hey dad?"

I answered, "Yes?"

"Remember the story of how you and mom met?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I think that one may have something to do with Siliveisa here."

Me and Siliveisa look confused and asked, "Huh?"

Edward explained, "She said that her father was shot by someone in the forest, and that her trainer was also killed by the same man."

I was still confused and said, "What's the name of the trainer?"

He smiled and said, "Ash."

The color drained from my face as it thought, 'Oh shit, oh shit, shit, shit, you're telling me that's, the Greninja's daughter?!"

The Greninja that stood there saw my face and she caught the picture and whipped her head back and forth looking at Edward then me, then she jumped right at me.

She punched me straight in the face, causing a few blood drops coming out of my nose, and she repeatedly punched my face, only for more of it to bleed. She creamed out, "YOU MURDERED MY FATHER?!"

All I said was, "How the fuck did I know!? He tried to kill meee-AHHHH!"

Siliveisa threw me across the room for me to end up sitting in the corner with a couple bones broken. All I could see Edward standing there slightly in horror, Rose actually wetting herself, and Midori coming out to see me get the shit beatin' out of me. She was in more horror as the Greninja prepared an attack, yet Midori used psychic and moved off the shurikens form me and I tried to get up only for me to go right through the fucking door, breaking in down and the second door, leading into Bender's room. He asked, "What the fuck is going on?"

I replied screaming in pain, "I'm getting killed here what else!"

Then I got up and was round-housed in the face from her with blood literally coming out of my mouth and nose in large quantities. Bender stepped in to fight, except he had the type disadvantage, which didn't mean shit with the fighting he could do. And luckily the fighting type kicked the shit out of the Greninja and sent her flying through the air, bleeding from her face, into the wall of my apartment.

I walked up with the bordering unconscious/conscious in my head, pulled out my gun, only Edward charged at me and yelled, "NOOOO!" and I was knocked over, pulled the trigger, and shot the wall leading out. Now, I tried to get up, but instead I passed out. Bender walked in to see the mess and said, "What the hell did I miss?"

Midori looked at Edward, then Siliveisa, then said, "What the fuck do you think Edward here did?"

To be honest this was the first time in a couple years she even cursed like that. She was pissed, I'll guarantee, but once I woke up, all I saw was blood stains, the manager, Edward, Rose, Bender, and Midori.

I told the manager, "I'll pay for any damage."

He said, "Could you pay up 80K?"

"Yeah, here" and I uploaded 80K to his account, and I continued, "Here's a tip for the inconvenience", and loaded another 5K. The manager was surprised at my cooperation, and left. Once he did I said in Edwards direction, "What, the fucking hell, were, you thinking?"

He just stood there, with a worried expression on his face, trying to mumble a few words out. All I said was, "If Rose took a very good example, I assume she is your girlfriend?"

He nodded and Midori was just about to explode, until I raised my hand saying, "If she is, get the fuck out'a here."

And Edward left running, running like he was being chased by a madman, which might have been more a madwoman seeing how Midori was ready to put Edward through a miniature hell.

Midori vented off some steam, "Why did you let him go?!"

I sat down, opening a sprite, "You stay calm, and forgive the poor person, even if he keeps on fucking up."

Midori as infuriated as she was went to her bedroom; hopefully she will get over the incident.

(Edward's POV)

* * *

I kept running to find Siliveisa, I didn't think she would actually go to lengths of killing my father, and I certainly didn't want my father killing her. After about an hour of searching, I found a little shack like place, and coming out was Siliveisa. I called out, "Siliveisa!"

She looked up pissed, all she said was, "What the fuck you want?"

I ran up to her and said, "Look, I'm sorry if my father killed yours and the fact he nearly tried to kill you, but that doesn't mean you try to kill him…"

She knocked me over and stepped on my stomach, still exhausting anger, "Your saying that I shouldn't kill your father even if he killed mine? What fucking sense does that make?!"

"I know it makes no sense, but killing him won't do shit, if anything my mother would kill you and torture me for bringing you there."

She stepped off my stomach and said, "Give me another reason why I shouldn't go back and spray your father's guts over the walls?"

I got up and sighed, "This isn't going to be that simple, but…", and went straight for it and kissed her. She was shocked form it and pushed back breaking it up. She was in one hell of a shock a tried to figure out what the hell happened. She then said, "You're k-kidding?"

I shook my head and said, "No, I'm not."

She was amazed by that since nobody cared for her enough for that, she then returned the kiss and said, "I think you convinced me well enough."

I began to go back to my apartment, until Siliveisa grabbed my shoulder and said, "Maybe it would be best if you stay here and wait a day for your parents to, um, get over the incident?"

I then said, "My father get sit over pretty quickly, my mother, ehhhh, not really, so I guess I'll accept the invite."

Siliveisa then said, "And one thing, no funny ideas or else."

"I'm not that kind of guy."

(Third person POV)

* * *

And Edward went in with Siliveisa for the night while Frank dealt with his still pissed off wife and…

Midori then said, "Wait a minute frank."

She then poofed out of the room, and wait a minute…

(In the writer's room)

* * *

Midori appears in my room as I write the Fanfiction story. I turn to my left and exclaim, "What the hell?"

Midori asked, "Where is Edward?"

I told her, imitating River Song, "Spoilers."

She used psychic and pushed me of the chair, and read the part above. I got up and said, "This is fourth wall breaking ya'know?"

She then threw my geometry at me knocking me out, and continued reading the entire story of which I wrote. She then understood how Edward met Siliveisa and teleported back to the story, and I got up saying, "Don't you just "love" that character?"


	6. Past life and new life

**This chapter gets a little sad so if your easily depressed, don't read.**

* * *

CHAPTER SIX:

Back in my room, Midori came back less pissed, but still pissed. I asked her, "Why do I get the feeling this is going to end up badly?"

She looked at me with a smile saying, "Because, it might."

We went to sleep and just for the hell of it, 'On the third day of this vacation, Edward didn't screw up the morning', better. Once I got up around six-ish, I first took out a sprite with some wine and coffee made two cups of that stuff, and inhaled it then went to the window and viewed the area. I looked out and saw the sun rising from the distance, lame.

I turned around and opened up the door, walking out to the shore to shoot up something that's food related, and hopefully, no damn rats.

(Edward's POV)

* * *

A fine night if I do say so myself. Siliveisa is a great girl once you know her and try not to piss her off, alright she still has some tension with my father but can I blame her? I woke up and was used to seeing a clock or the inside of a Pokéball, instead I went out and saw, trees. There wasn't even a damn sun to look at to figure out what the time was.

I walked back in to see Siliveisa up and she said, "Morning."

I nodded, "Morning."

She walked over and asked, "Do you think your parents cooled down?"

"Well, my mother hasn't sent any death threats so I assume my father fixed it up."

She shook her head leaving the shack, "And to think the only thing he does is shoot everything."

I corrected, "Actually he shoots, steals, curses, and makes impolite gestures at people."

"Like the criminals that he shot at and your mother blew away?"

I stood there confused, "What?"

She got the mistake and said, "Oh, right you weren't there. He basically did the finger and shot them in, uh, some interesting areas."

"Yeah, that sounds like my father", we laughed a little after I hear someone screaming, "THIS IS WHY I HATE OCTOPUSSSS!", as a man, more specifically my father, running down the street being chased by two Tentacruels. We stared and Siliveisa said, "Does he normally piss everyone off?"

All I could say was, "Depends who and what he's pissing off."

(My POV)

* * *

Running down the street, I'm being chased by small squids shooting energy beams at me, or water beams, some kind of beams. This is what happens when you start shooting a rifle while dancing like an Indian trying to scare them. All hell broke even looser as a group of hippies began to chase me down as well. I yelled at them and said, "Go back to the '70s ya weed smokin' crack heads!"

I decided to run into the forest and hide from the crazies. I ran at least a few yards inward and told myself, "Alright what's next?"

Then a sharp object presses on my neck and I then groan, "Oh no, not again."

Then Edward appears and says, "Don't worry dad, you're not getting your throat slit."

"Oh that's comforting at least, but, get it off of me!", and I fell on my Back as I see Edward and his girlfriend look down at me. I got up and said, "Is there still problems, or am I going to be beheaded?"

Siliveisa then said, "Because Edward is here, and the fact that you aren't trying to shoot me, I'm not going to kill you, mostly."

I held up a hand signaling stop as I explained, "Now wait, I'm not the one pissed off here as I got through it easy. Midori is, still, getting over it, only if she was here, your legs would be ripped off and sold to the French."

She looked at me crookedly and asked, "What?"

Edward then said, "In my father's world, people eat the weirdest things they can find."

Now she was purely confused. I simply explained, "I'm not form this universe, but I am from the same planet."

And she fainted in utter confusion. I told Edward, "Oh well, that part will take some time to explain."

Edward picked her up and said, "Well, you can go back to your apartment as I assume mom hasn't gotten it over yet to where I can come back?"

"She broke the fourth wall, knows where you are, and what you're doing, or at least did."

My son looked at me in slight shock and said, "S-should I be worried?"

"No, but I wouldn't want you to go back there, until the seven days' vacation is over", I turned around as Edward did the same and brought Siliveisa to where ever she lived and Edward currently stayed.

Once I got to the hotel room, I see Midori and Rose looking over a few things that even I haven't in a couple years. I walked in and immediately Midori asks, "Tell me you convinced Edward to get rid of her?"

I never thought I be a smartass in her direction I said, "I don't want to imitate my parents, if he goes the way he goes, go for it."

She then walks up and says, "You saw what she did to you!"

I calmly stated, "And she did that mainly because she thought that killing me who avenge her dead father."

"What do you mean?"

"Siliveisa, *sigh*, was Ash's Greninja's daughter."

Midori then got the picture and said, "And she basically thought that killing you would fix it?"

I stood up and said, "Well, I watched the series and up to my knowledge that Greninja didn't fuck anyone, *mainly the show was made for kids*, and it didn't show anyone with an egg or even just that. How was I going to know that the damn frog did something?"

Midori then said, "Common sense?"

I snorted and said, "Me and common sense is like throwing Edward with my father and watch the two kill each other. It doesn't mix well."

Midori sighed, "Well, at least end this relationship, I'm not approving it…"

"When I was being chased down by a group of hippies, I found Edward and his girlfriend there and she didn't kill me, only because Edward was there and I didn't pull a gun at her."

I sat down and tried to think over everything while Midori just went back to Rose. I finally said, "If something develops between those two, which it has, I'm not going to destroy it."

"How do you know it has?"

"Who do you think is writing the story?"

Midori face palmed herself and laughed only tending to Rose again showing some pictures of the past. I only could imagine what the hell could become of my son.

(Edward's POV)

* * *

I'm thankful that Siliveisa didn't try to kill my dad at that point, and even more thankful that my dad's lack of explanation knocked her out. Once we got back to her shack, I put her in her bed and began to walk out. Then I heard, "Leaving?"

Siliveisa was up like she wasn't asleep at… oh, how hilarious. I said with a smile, "You faked it didn't you?"

All she did was come over and say, "I wanted to see if you cared that much or if you would leave me there."

"Ha, just because my father is a jerk doesn't mean that I am."

She looked at sternly and said, "I specifically remember you calling me a cunt."

I had a sweat drop come on the side of my head as I remembered and said, "Well, uh, eh…"

"Calm down, I'm screwing with you", and she sat down, arms crossed saying, "But, I would like to know how your father apparently traveled from universe to universe."

I said, "Well, I don't know much about it. All I remember, or what my father told me was that he ran from home, slept in an alley, then he woke up in a field, and ran some way down where he then met mom as a Ralts…"

Siliveisa asked, "How long was that?"

"About four years."

"Wait how old are you?"

"Four."

She then looked at me oddly and said, "Shit, I'm only five years, I thought you were maybe seven or eight, not four."

I laughed at that and continued, "Anyway, afterwards, my father then robbed a store of four pairs of mega evolve gems…"

"You mean like that one", as she point to mine. I replied, "This I stole myself, not my father."

She rolled her eyes saying, "Great, I'm in love with a thief."

I laughed, "Same with my mother. Then my father left town and met Mr. Bender who didn't have good relations back then."

"He's the Blaziken I assume?"

"Yeah, he was abandoned by another trainer for a Braixen and was nicely pissed off. Once my father got him; he tried to dump him at a center, however my mother stopped him and a fight broke outside the center and my mother evolved into a Kirlia. Then once they got to the hotel, she gave dad a permanent translation for Pokémon…"

She now got it, "Which is why he understands me, ok.

I continued, "After about two days, my father's group went to some kind party, as he planned on something. And to what my mother said, my father flipped a kid off a balcony into a tree and the railing falling on him, killing both the boy and the Pikachu. Later, it was found that the boy was your father's trainer."

Siliveisa had a straight face saying, "And what the fuck was his motive?"

"I don't know, he just didn't like him for some reason. After that incident, dad fought a gym and let everyone drink at a bar after he won."

"Your father let his Pokémon drink?"

"You haven't seen Mr. Bender; he goes for the high alcohol while my father sticks with wine. Even I drink some alcohol myself."

Siliveisa questioned, "And your mother?"

"My mother and Ms. Heleva don't drink."

She shook her head trying to understand why guys drink. I continued, "And oddly, that was the only time my mother did drink. Fine, everyone except my father was drunk but the next day, she was a Gardevoir."

Siliveisa was shocked and blurted, "Your mother evolved from just drinking Alcohol?!"

I nodded as she was amazed by that. I continued, "Afterwards, she tried to get closer to him with Mr. Bender always joking around. Two days later they met Ms. Heleva as a Zorua and when they slept in for the night, my mother finally kissed my father with Mr. Bender getting his claw bashed as he showed Ms. Heleva it."

Siliveisa seemed slightly ashamed seeing as my father wasn't a cruel prick, even though he sometimes was. I continued, "Afterwards, they fought against another gym leader and won another badge. Then the next day, as my parents were walking down, a shuriken flew by my father's ear as he looked behind seeing a Greninja…"

"My father", sadly said Siliveisa as now I comforted her by putting my arm behind her back. I still continued, "Your father, and when my mother tried to defend, he shot a dark beam at her and dad thought the Greninja killed her. Luckily, Ms. Heleva came out of a bush to defend and absorbed an incoming dark energy beam and that energy helped her evolve into the Zoroark she is now. They then both fired an energy beam and my father fled into the forest as the dust cloud covered him up."

Siliveisa asked, "What happened that caused my father to get killed though?"

"As my father was running, he thought he was safe until he had a shuriken placed to his neck…"

She finally understood by why my father said 'Oh no, not again', and started to regret the fight she caused. I finished up saying, "Now, my father said that he tried to grab a knife but there wasn't one there and he then realized it was there before. My mother threw a rock at your father and", hesitating seeing how Siliveisa was already breaking down little by little, "Stabbed him in the heart with my father's knife, and dad then… shot… him."

Siliveisa froze in fear and broke down, "My mother said the murderer was a cruel, arrogant man, not this. I didn't know my father tried to actually kill your parents in the beginning."

I further explained, "What your father tried to do with my father was the same thing you tried to do with my father, vengeance."

She burst into tears about her father's death and ironic cruelty. I hugged her, trying to help her, then there was knock at the door. I stood up and said, "I'll answer it."

I opened and, in some extent of amazement, my mother was there. I asked her being displeased, "What is it?"

She began, stuttering, "I…I heard what you were talking about… and I would like to apologize for it all."

I was puzzled and said, "How long…"

"The end, mainly."

Siliveisa then stood up and asked, "Wait, you're not against…"

"No, your father and the overall, story, helped convince me agree with that."

I was amazed that my father actually got her agreeing with the relationship. Siliveisa then was shocked and in joy as she heard it. I was tackled with a hug form her and my mother left us to our "alone" time.

(My POV)

* * *

I was showing Rose some old tunes on my laptop when I saw Midori entered the room; I looked up and asked, "I assume kit went well?"

She nodded and said, "To be honest, the whole thing was a slight misinterpretation of Siliveisa's mother saying you're the arrogant man who had no heart, ish."

I replied back, "I'm not arrogant, but when it comes to dealing with Ash, I have no heart."

"And repeating the same lines like that over and over is just making it worse", as she comes over.

"Oh well", we kissed right there and as she left to her room, she telepathically said, 'Also, I have a third coming', as I spin around looking at her, as she had a smile.

I looked at Rose and said, "Well Rose, you're getting another sibling."

She bounced with joy on that; all I could think it was going to be was another Edward, oh Lord.


	7. All Hell breaks lose

**The story is getting slightly more violent and dramatic so I had to take out the humor portion of it, sorry.**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Everything has been fixed, Midori isn't pissed, mainly because she's having another kid, Edward's going to have a wife soon, good for me, and I can finally relax. I decided to turn on the TV and see if the news was showing any kind of shit. Aether corporation this, some crappy celebrity was shot, lame, and….. I'm done.

I decided to hook up my laptop with the TV and instead it showed Donald Trump's reelection. Against Michele Obama was Hilary Clinton, for the third fucking time, on the democrats while Trump faced Ted Cruz again. The political shit they talked made no sense to me since I didn't care much for it. About 10 minutes in, Midori showed up and asked, "What are you watching?"

I turned and said, "My world's political cesspool, crazy democrats, crazy republicans, and everybody is screwy."

"Politics is probably something you should avoid."

"You're right", then looking towards Rose's room, "We'll have her do it."

Midori looked at me "sternly" with a smile. I said, "Ok, that wouldn't work but, I couldn't do it since technically I have some things under my belt."

Midori then added on, "Plus do you really want to deal with these people?"

"There, they would make a fit seeing me with you claiming it as 'bestiality'. I'm not dealing with that, hell; I couldn't even get an office here since someone will have me arrested as soon as I show my face on TV."

"Change the channel and find something else", as she started to lean me off the news channel.

I replied, "Screw it, I'll turn it off."

And the TV went off, unplugged my laptop and said, "Besides what could be worse than that shit in my world?"

The TV then turned on showing a news broadcast of a project of reviving people from the dead. It also stated that the reviving device has brought back the dead legend after four years, Ash Ketchum. I shit myself and turned off the TV saying, "Well, I jinxed it, didn't I?"

Midori slapped herself in the head seeing as once again, I fucked everything up. Ash is back and now he probably knows I did the whole assassination of him and has come back to throw me in his spot. I walked to the window and said, "I wonder where he is now?"

(You know who's POV)

* * *

Walking down the streets of Kalos, I tried to find this Italy guy. He changed his name enough times to confuse everyone, but me, heh, I had to literally make a deal with Giratina that if I could kill this guy, I could go back to my old life. However, he made it also if I failed; I would be stuck down there permanently.

I try to find any trainers, then I remembered that a lot of them would go to a Pokémon center after a gym battle as I would. I went to the Luminose Pokémon center and asked a couple of trainers if they have gone to any gym under Italy. I began if the first guy with an Arcanine, "Have you battled or heard of a guy named Italy?"

The man looked up and said, "Italy? I battled that guy nearly ten times and still couldn't finish off one of his Pokémon."

I see this guy must've had good training with them. I walked up to the next one who was a girl with a Mamoswine and asked, "Have you heard of a guy named Italy?"

She shot to me and said, "That guy is as rude as all hell. He had his Pokémon commanding the battle and he came out after I threatened a sue on him."

I take it back; he's also cheap and irresponsible. I walked up to the counter and asked the nurse, "Have you seen a man named Italy?"

The Nurse Joy replied, "Oh, you mean the champion Francesco Italy? The last time he came in here was about a few months ago."

Champion, what did she mean? I asked, "Champion?"

"You didn't know? He was Kalos champion for two years, then he settled into a gym on route 23 and became the most difficult gym in all of the regions, he even beat Professor Sycamore's son five times trying to win that gym, and still failed."

I couldn't believe it; someone was actually beating the hardest people, the best champions. I asked, "Where on Route 23?"

Joy gave me a map and I followed it to the location, only I found a sign that said, "Left for a vacation in Aloha, enter and you can guarantee your ass will be shot when I come back."

The Aloha region, haven't been there yet; time to go find him.

(My POV)

* * *

Ok, slightly scared, the kid I killed came back from the dead, interesting, but I'm not happy about it as I now have to watch my back every fucking second to make sure I don't get stabbed by an unusual character.

Midori was also worried as she didn't want me to get killed, or worse every one of the family. I came around to her and said, "Well, what the hell should I do now? I have to kill this kid again, and this time it is for self-defense."

Midori looked at me and said, "If you didn't kill him maybe you wouldn't have to."

"I'm not from this world; I don't play by its rules. If I decide to go destroy every team and take over every region and become supreme earth commander, would I play any of it by this world's rules?"

"Then I don't you go knock them off instead", she was starting to get furious again. I replied, "Because they keep on trying and fail, this kid could do the minutest thing and save the whole fucking planet because of it. Where's the logic, eh?"

She turned around and said, "Why couldn't you be, better?"

"Because that's not how everything can be", I answered in a neutral tone.

Then, a knock appeared on the door with Bender coming in and saying, "You got some shit coming your way, man."

I told him, "You think I didn't know already?"

He walked in and closed the door saying, "What do you plan to do?"

I told him, "More violence, less dramatics, and basically get rid of him. Though I don't know how the hell he came back from the dead. The machine couldn't have done it."

Midori then thought and gasped, "Wait, there is a legendry named Giratina who…"

I slapped myself and said, "Oh shit, Ash must've did some kind of 'deal with the devil' style trade, that's how the prick did it."

Bender then looked back and walked out the door slowly saying, "I'll, be back maybe later", and ran out the door.

I told myself, "Fuck me."

(Edward's POV)

* * *

My and Siliveisa were talking over how each other had as different childhoods and through the evolutions. I heard something telepathically going, "Fuck me", meaning my father did something stupid. Siliveisa stopped for a minute and said, "That's not right."

I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Something is wrong, very wrong; there is something that is… I don't even know what it is. But, it isn't normal."

"Like what?"

"Like someone was just brought back from the dead."

I laughed a little, "Maybe paranoia?"

She got serious and said, "My mother was a Delphox, I have a bit of psychic in me and I know that when something is off, it is off."

Now I was getting worried, "Well, I heard my father cursing back at the room, maybe there is…"

I stopped and saw a group of people standing around the newspaper stand, what caught my interest was a thought that said 'Brought from the dead'. I then looked at Siliveisa and said, "You might be right", and I walked towards the paper stand with her following me in confusion.

I walked up and said, "What's everyone talking about?"

The man running it looked at me strange and said, "The days getting better, first the dead legend is brought back and now I have a talking Gallade with a mustache at my stand."

Siliveisa asked me, "Wait, does he mean?"

Then in the distance I saw someone running, being my father, yelling out, "Out of my fucking way, I need to get to the airport to buy another ticket!", and bolted past us. I then said, "I think he's getting you a ticket to come home with me."

Siliveisa questioned, "I'm starting to put the puzzle pieces in their order."

All I could say now is, "I think dad wants to get out here as fast as possible, because he has to now deal with a new foe, your father's trainer."

And I walked off to my apartment, while Siliveisa stood there in utter fear and confusion of whether to stay or leave.

As I walked back to the apartment, I saw a figure standing way down the street that then just, disappeared. I thought I just saw something my imagination played on me. I walked to the apartment and knocked on the door, only my mother was there and she didn't look well, settled. I asked her, "Mom, why was dad running down the street why a crazy guy, *like that's nothing new*?"

She then said, "Those stories we told you have could back to life in a way."

"How?"

Mom explained, "Well, instead of the Greninja coming to kill your father, it's the trainer who came to kill your father."

"I figured."

She looked up, "What do you mean?"

"They had a paper going about that the Ash guy came back. What do we do?"

She stood up and walked toward Rose, "We have to leave, because I don't think your father will win this time."

"How so?"

"The trainer now has, bought, abilities from… Giratina."

I shit myself and said, "You're kidding?"

She shook her head saying, "It's the only way to buy your life back form the dead, that or the Devil, or Arceus, or God, but,*sigh* your father is going to most likely get killed."

I shook my head saying, "He won mainly because you helped him win last time, this time it can be the same."

Mom started to cry saying, "We're going up against a supernatural force and you expect us to win against that?"

I was pissed at the fact of it, "Bullshit, I'm sure we can win, my father comes from a universe were we don't even fucking exist, and he managed to pull along just fine. I mean look at us, we have things that almost everyone including people would love to have, and this was given to us by my father, your husband. If him and his team can kick the Greninja's ass, I'm pretty fucking sure he can kick his trainer's ass as well."

She then stopped and thought over what I said, and she then understood that it was my father who did this and fixed it. Then as some coincidence, dad came busting threw the door with a smile saying, "Were going hunting!"

Midori said, "With, wait, what…"

I looked and said, "Wait, those are…"

My dad held the two AK-47s and said, "I'm borrowing them, now; let's get this shooting festival on the road."

Everyone went, but we had Pella watch the smaller children and I swear she said in her thoughts about me, _'I Hope you and Siliveisa have sex and have kids'_. If that was her thoughts, I ask permission to beat the shit out of her.

(My POV)

* * *

We started by going into the forest because something was very wrong here according to what Siliveisa said. We looked around and saw nothing, which was the problem. There were no Pokémon, no animals, not even people. Edward looked terrified as he constantly looked back and forth, I asked him quietly, "What the hell are you looking for?"

He telepathically said, _'Something is definitely watching us, but I think it's also_ …'

"Well, well, well", called out a voice.

We looked forward and, I don't believe it.

It was Ash Ketchum standing only about 300-400 feet away. He stood there with his baseball hat; only his clothes were torn and shredded with a purple/metallic colored medallion around his neck. We pulled out our weapons, me having an AK-47, Midori having, her abilities, Edward having his two knives, Bender with "his" glock, Heleva with her prepared energy move, and Siliveisa with the other AK.

Ash stood there and said, "Still the way you've been, I suppose?"

I smartassed, "Why don't you go back to hell?"

"Because, I'll be back to my life if I kill you off, but if everyone here will do the same o knock me off, I'll just kill everyone here as well."

I sniggered, "Peh, you couldn't kill all of us off, besides, I thought you didn't kill people even if they constantly annoy the shit out of you?"

He laughed lowly, "I changed as you can see, and you're the one who helped it along."

"Well, then lets re-kill you, shall we?"

Then I yelled out, "FIRE!", and bullet went flying at him. Once we emptied the first cartridges, he stood there unaffected. He yelled out, "You can't kill me with that!"

He laughed out and flung an energy ball at us. We dodged as it tore out five trees and I said, "Shit!"

He fired another one at Midori who held it back and flung it towards him, which caused no affect. I was panicking; Edward tried firing at him by swinging the knives at him, but nothing. We all tried something but we were lucky enough if we didn't get killed. I said, "Let's get the hell out 'a…"

Then we poofed to another island and I said, "Here?"

I looked around, there was nobody? I was pissed. I fucked everything up again and again. I then got to a small hill and played a tune, a somber tune of the instrumental of _'Poor Jack'_.

I began to sing a parody of it to myself:

 _"What have I done?_

 _What have I done?_

 _How could I, be so blind_

 _All this mess,_

 _It's all mine_

 _Ruined all, ruined all,_

 _Everything, gone all wrong,_

 _What have I done?_

 _What have I become,_

 _Find a deep cave to hide in,_

 _In a thousand years they'll only find dust…_

 _And a stone_

 _That reads, Frank died here in his hoooooome._

 _But I never wanted this to happen, ever._

 _And nobody really gave a damn, well how could they._

 _That all I ever wanted was to kill off that damn kid,_

 _Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?_

 _WELL, what the fuck, I went and tried my best._

 _And by God I really did something grand, that's right._

 _And for a moment how, I ended with a sound,_

 _That at least I left some stories they can show I did._

 _And for the first time since, I can't remember when,_

 _I felt just like my old violent self again, and I Frank, TheFerengiKing,_

 _That's Right, *Pulls out the rifle and cocks it*, I AM THEFERENGIKING, HAHAHA,_

 _And I just can't wait to find that kid, because I got some new ideas to make him really dead,_

 _And by God, I'm really going to give all my might… ooh,_

 _I hope there there's still time, to fix this right,_

 _Ashy boy, heheheeee._

I then ran off to find the others as I finally got my enthusiasm up.

* * *

 **Rate and Review for the song parody of "Poor Jack" :D**


	8. Being a total badass

**Lemon and Bastardized song warning. Lemon= (((((**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT:

(Midori's POV)

I'm lucky that the teleportation plan worked; otherwise I think we would have been dead. I tried to find Frank, but I was in panic when I did it and now everyone was scattered around the next island.

I found a small area where there were some small creatures there, and they were just moving around minding their own business. I then hear a voice in the back, "Who are you?"

I spun around in shock, only I calmed down seeing it was an unusual floating creature, pink and black. She didn't attack me, but she didn't look pleased either. I said, "Well, who are you?"

She floated up and said, "I'm the guardian here, I'm asking YOU."

I responded, "I'm Midori, and you are?"

"Tapu Lele, what are you doing here?"

"I had to teleport here before I friends and family would've been killed."

Lele looked at me oddly and said, "What do you mean killed?"

I started to explain, "My husband killed someone and now he was resurrected and came here to kill him and us."

Lele looked at me and said, "Where may I ask is your husband?"

Then there was a scream, "FUCK YOU BEARS!"

I breathed out relived Frank was alive and said smiling, "That's him."

We followed off to find Frank, if he didn't get robbed, or lectured.

(My POV)

One of Midori's great plans have once again saved us, and got me in a fucked up position as I try to dodge two fucking bears running at me back and forth. I kept on shooting at them, but they kept on running away and returned at full force. I yelled out, "FUCK YOU BEARS!", and the bears then looked each other weirdly and I shot them in their legs. They couldn't move and I could get out of here.

As I ran for about three minutes, I heard a rustle in the bush and fired a shot with it only appearing a few inches away from a pinkish purple thing's face. Next to it came out Midori shaking her face with a smile saying, "Don't you know it's rude to shoot people before knowing them?"

I replied, "Have you seen the shit that we in currently, and who the fuck is that", as I pointed my gun at it. The thing to throw a rock at my head, and Midori calmed it down. She said, "Have you seen anyone else though?"

I sighed, "No, but I'm sure the couples are doing something, if they're together."

Midori just giggled a bit and explained her new friend and how she met her. I didn't give a shit about the guardian unless it knew how to kill resurrected people. It didn't, so we had to move on to find the remaining four "troops" before Ash does.

(Edward's POV)

My mother teleported us off the island to another one, and we don't know fuck about it. All I knew about this place was that it was night, its dark, and I never thought I would say this, but I'm kinda scared.

There was no one around and wild Pokémon were lurking in those damn shadows. I decided to self-mega evolve as a way to defend myself. That trick I learned as focusing psychic energy into the gem. Limits my telepathic range, but it will work in the long run, hopefully.

After a minute of walking, I hear a bush rattle, then it moves to another bush, then out came a, Pichu. It screamed and ran off thinking I would attack it, only I was then tackled by something, being, Siliveisa?

I was pinned down and asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

She looked down at me and seductively said, "Well, the reason why I said no funny ideas is because I want to pull the first move, not have you do it."

Wait, she wanted to do this, but she wanted to… oh shit, I see where this is going. I told her, "So, you wanted this, but you want to be the one controlling it?"

"Pretty much", and she pulled me into a kiss, and we then made out a bit, and then it got a little interesting.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Siliveisa crawled backwards and aimed for my… oh damn that was good! She started to suck on my dick pretty roughly as she was trying to get it erect. It got erect very fast and then she climbed and jammed it down, only to bite her lip as she forgot she was a virgin. I asked, "You ok?"

She nodded and slammed down hard and created this great feeling of rough sex. She rode me damn great and I was getting the best of it. Her moans were like music and the feeling was perfect, this night was excellent. Then in one slam, I erupted inside of her and she moaned loudly. Once she fell onto me, I pulled out, only for my dick to erupt once again.

I asked Siliveisa, "Well, how was your first time?"

She said, "Honestly, not that bad."

We just passed out right there from the exhaustion of it.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

(Bender's POV)

I can't believe that the same son of a bitch that Frank killed off came back to life, except he is scarier, more demon possessed, and merciless as all fuck. Heleva and I were luckily teleported in the same area, but we had to try to find everyone else, if there was an "everyone else".

After about a few minutes, we heard some footsteps, I pulled out the glock and aimed towards the sound, except when I fired, it stopped only two inches from the gun barrel. I grabbed the bullet and looked at it weirdly, and Heleva looked towards the bush and said, "I see why the bullet stopped."

I asked, "Really, how?"

"Midori stopped it."

"What?", and I looked up to see Frank, Midori, and some other weirdo coming from the bush. Frank said snickering, "We both tried to shoot ourselves, we can't shoot the undead creepy, but we can shoot ourselves, what a joke", and he walked to the side. He asked, "Where's Edward?"

I looked at my wrist, "Judging by the fact I have no watch, I'd say he and Siliveisa are doing something. Since we have our couples in order, so I assume the same is over there."

(My POV)

The group was put together, for the most part, and we still had our weapons. The main problem was how to deal with Mr. "Undead Champion That Frank Killed". Has the vacation turned into a bad horror movie, YES.

I walked a bit thinking of how to kill this guy off. He was impervious to bullets, ok, unstoppable to normal Pokémon attacks, damn it, then, I wondered, 'the medallion.'

Of course! The medallion must be a way to stop him, I've seen the movie Princess and the Frog, it must be a way to stop him, I think. I started to rush off with everyone following. We tracked down the island for a bit and once we crossed over, the place where we were supposed to vacation was, totaled. The buildings were destroyed, dead bodies everywhere; you thought this kid was nice, eh?

We looked around and Bender said, "Didn't you say that there was a city in your world like this?"

I thought and said, "Entirely destroyed, maybe Hiroshima or Nagasaki. I guess you can count this place too."

After a while I decided, "Let's split up and try to find something that leads to find this guy. I'll head to that mountain looking peak, Midori, Bender, and Heleva, you search however the fuck you want."

I ran off leaving the rest to decide.

(Midori's POV)

Bender stated, "Alright, I'll through the ruins, you two ladies can decide", he darted off leaving us here. Heleva said, "I guess I'll go check on that lab, and I assume you'll follow Frank?"

I nodded, "Yep, I was there last time and he'll need me this time as well."

We both ran off to our directions, hopefully Frank didn't get killed yet.

(My POV)

Running up the mountain, I see nothing but wrecked trees and dead Pokémon. I come to the near top of it and find "guess who" on top. He was basically waiting for me and just sat there looking at the stone. I walked slowly toward him with my finger on the .44 trigger. If I can't shoot him, then I'll have to just try to shoot of the medallion. Ash then stood up saying, "Don't you know it's impolite to come in without knocking?"

I replied, "If there was a door."

He turned around saying, "May I ask why you pushed me off that balcony oh so long ago?"

"You kept "saving" the world and nothing bad happened to you. You always win and win, I thought, it's finally time you lose, period."

He chuckled and said, "And you think those teams would do any better?"

"If they eliminate crime and other major problems, I don't see how it can be that bad."

He walked a little closer and said, "You're here to shoot off my medallion so I can be sent back to the distortion world, oh how pathetic."

I walked closer saying, "At least my idea worked, and besides, maybe I'll just shoot it from here?"

He cackled and said, "Hilarious, you obviously failed this time, as I have an old friend with me."

I snorted saying, "Who, Your Latios friend?"

He said, "No, Siliveisa's father."

I shit myself as I saw the Greninja come out from behind Ash with a hole in his head and a punctured area in his heart. He was a light blue with darker color to his skin, and his eyes were blood red with his scarf thing rotted out. Ash then said, "You fought him once, he's back as well."

This is some heavy dip shit I got myself into, but now I have to deal with two mother fuckers instead of just one. I stood there as the Greninja charged at me and kicked me with one hell of a force into the wall; I tried to punch but got my arm twisted in a shriek of pain. He hit the back of my head, shooting blood out of my mouth in a gushing way.

I swung my sharpened rifle butt at him but it didn't do squat and he broke the rifle in half and whacked me in the side with it causing even more pain. I got up and ran a little until Ash shot me with some kind of energy beam and laughed, "You can't get me now can you."

I felt something in my hand being, the medallion? I looked to my right in pain to see Midori saying with her lips, 'he has a fake'. I then looked at Ash and said, "You know, I always hated you. But to actually send you to a permanent hell would be a damn good idea", I stood up, barely, and continued, "If I had a one shot for your death, I would have to say this," then in a bad Terminator voice, "Asta la vista, baby", and I took the Medallion, threw it to the ground and crushed it with my foot.

Ash's face was priceless as he saw that the one he had was a fake and he looked over the shattered one and cried, "NO, NO, what am I going to give Giratina now?"

Then a couple of dead bodies came out of the stone humming along with Giratina himself.

Ash then greeted in fear, "Giratina!"

Giratina bellowed, "ARE YOU READY NOW?"

Ash looked purely terrified and said, "No, I'm not ready, in fact h-h-he's just right there."

"ARE YOU READY NOW?"

The poor kid begged, "This is just a small setback, as soon as I kill him over there, I-I can give you what you want. I still have him over there in the clear. All I need is a second chance."

Then the gates to hell were opened up, "NO, no please," and Giratina grabbed the Greninja's leg, and the Greninja then used its tongue scarf to grab onto Ash's leg.

He still begged, "Please, just a second chance."

The rest of the bodies still went and Ash's last words were, "I promise to give what you want, I promise, NOOOOOOOO-AAHHHHHHHHHHH."

In one hell of a flash, everything went into the gate and disappeared, only leaving a carving on the wall, showing Ash's face, with the words: KETCHUM.

I walked out and looked at the stone, I shook my head saying, "You don't even need a grave", I took out my two hand grenades and pulled the off the rings put them down and walked calmly away. The two grenades exploded causing an immense fireball and the stone collapsed. If someone were watching this, which was Midori, it looked like one of those movie scenes where I would walk away and not look back.

I walked up and said, "At least I still have my badassness from all those years ago."

We kissed for a bit and she then said, "You do realize that now we have to clean up the place and go find Edward?"

I looked at the destroyed stone, "Nah, however finding Edward would be a good idea."

We went around and found Bender and Heleva coming around asking, "What was the explosion?"

I explained what the hell happened and I asked how everyone else was doing and if the kids were fine. Heleva said that Pella had everyone hide in the basement because she went to do something stupid, then she saw the destruction and went hiding down there too. I laughed saying, "Well, at least she did something smart."

Later we did find Edward and Siliveisa, only,* hem hem*, there was a mess and the two were together so that they just had sex, oh well one day she was trying to kill me, the next day she is my daughter in law, lol.

We all went to sleep and the next got the hell out of here. We took the plane of course as people, who were alive, left and a plane did go toward Kalos. Having nine seats was a lot on my part but once we arrived at the airport we had to pass through the security shit. I told the security people, "How about this, I just dealt with a fucking supernatural force, can we just dump all our stuff on the tray and get on with our life?"

So I dumped out the AK-47, .44, three knives, two blades, the two Z-crystals, my laptop, pocket knife, and a bought guide of how to remove Satan. Anything else I had in the beginning, either got lost or got broken during the vacation. One of the guards said, "Oh Arceus, it's this guy again."

And pointed at him saying, "Then you know what they have", as pointing to everyone in the back. The guards took Edward's two knives, "Bender's" glock, Siliveisa's AK-47, and they even found that Pella managed to stow away a knife as well. Bender held a laugh, while Heleva looked displeased. After the checkout, Edward teleported everything back to us and we walked out to the gym.

We got to the gym in one fucking piece, and I said, "Well, the only thing that came from the vacation was that Edward got a wife, other than that I see no benefit to us."

Midori then looked at me with a smile, "The third?"

I remembered and said, "Ok, maybe it wasn't that bad."

We laughed a bit and walked in. And a new rule for me, no more vacations


	9. Epilouge

PROLOUGE:

It's been a year and things have happened. Edward and Siliveisa did get married and had a Froakie, named Kevanin. I went to the other world and told my parents that they now have great grandchildren; only for my father to erupt like Vesuvius, and for me to explain to Siliveisa that this is her new grandfather in law. Edward caused a fight and quickly ended as Siliveisa dragged him away from his grandfather.

Me and Midori also have a third child named Catherine who was born three months ago and she is not like the last two luckily. Its kinda weird having it where your nephew is five months older than you, but that's life seeing as Catherine isn't the trouble maker luckily.

Now of course you are probably wondering how the hell I got that medallion in the first place. I amazing as it sounds, Midori carefully swapped the medallion when we first met undead Ash with a plastic tourist one. I'm even surprised that the kid didn't even notice it, then during the final fight, Midori teleported the real on into my hands knowing that I knew to break it.

I relax as I watch the kids "kill" each other on the battlefield, Rose became a Kirlia and Arenmo is almost at his level for becoming a Zoroark. I thought to myself, "Who knew a shitty vacation can help change, all this", as I poured in a glass of wine to drink. Midori then came up and asked, "Could I have one?"

I looked at her and said, "First time since you were a Kirlia, eh? Her you go dear", I poured a glass for her two and we sat there watching the battles and drank, enjoying the life we had.

* * *

 **Also I would like to say that I'm taking a break from writing up FanFictions until Sunday, so I would some of you to put in the reviews for any ideas for a FanFiction I could write up and just as a recap: Nothing that is Same-sex, but I will accept lemons and just lower it down to acceptable standards.**


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